1969 | A child is born to Peter and Pat Radcliffe in Bangor, Northern Ireland. Not 'Heidi', the daughter they had anticipated. But a boy, who they would name after Zane Grey, an author of American Westerns. Northern Ireland was a lot like the Wild West back then. All tomahawks and balaclavas.
1974-1980 | Young Zane thrived at Ballyholme Primary School until the day he stole a chocolate decoration from the school Christmas tree - a decoration that had been reused over decades - inspiring him to vomit over his teacher's cardie. Here, he got his first taste for advertising. His father was a sales rep for Old Spice and had a garage full of aftershave that Zane gladly marketed to his prepubescent peers at 1949 prices.
1981-1987 | Bangor Grammar. Vodka, cherry coke and The Jesus & Mary Chain.
1988-1993 | Zane somehow obtains a BA and MSc from Queen's University in Belfast while editing the student newspaper. He still has nightmares about an article he penned - on the subject of young Irish women seeking mainland abortions - that led with the sensitive headline: 'Stay and Deliver or Your Money for a Life'. Then there was the time he flushed Bjork's poo down the toilet. They would meet again. Zane and Bjork, that is. Not Zane and Bjork's poo. That would be improbable, bordering on insane.
1994-1995 | There's a place for Zane on Tony Cullingham's legendary Advertising course at Watford College. The budding creative is delighted to have his work torn to shreds on a daily basis. He leaves with a portfolio bursting with fresh ideas and an unbridled enthusiasm that nothing can dent.
1995 | Zane's enthusiasm is crushed to the point of being completely written off by the Department of Employment, who threaten to withhold his housing benefit unless he accepts a seasonal job at Toys-R-Us dressed as an elf.
1996 - 1999 | Leo Burnett gives the junior copywriter his first job in adland. He reciprocates by writing and recording the 'World's First Topless Radio Ad' for their Daily Star client. The ad gets banned. Fortunately for Zane, his TV spot for McDonald's Indian burgers is better received, earning him a first D&AD pencil. A second pencil soon follows for a John West TV ad that Campaign picks in its 'Best Ads of the Year'.
1999 - 2001 | Zane and Mike Oughton - his partner (in the non-marital, advertising sense) - are poached by Steve Henry at HHCL, Campaign's 'Agency of the Millennium'. Zane's century ends with another D&AD pencil - for a Tango poster campaign - and a book deal with Black Swan.
2001 - 2002 | Scotland calls. Zane walks 500 miles, metaphorically, to join The Leith Agency in Edinburgh as a Senior Creative. His first task is an onerous one: to film a beer campaign in India, Thailand and Iceland. He falls in love with the 'Land of Fire and Ice' and decides to write a book about it. A book that he spontaneously presents, in a Reykjavik bar, to Bjork. Mindful that she had recently torn hair from a journalist who invaded her personal space, Zane declines to regale the fiery songstress with the story about her poo.
2002 - 2011 | A breakaway from The Leith Agency is formed and Zane, with three colleagues, launches Newhaven. Within two years it is Scotland's 'Agency of the Year', boasting a stellar client list that includes Tennent's, ScottishPower, HBOS and The Scottish Government. Zane secures a fourth D&AD pencil - and the ire of rodent lovers everywhere - for his Powerleague 'Hamster' film.
2011- 2014 | A return to Belfast for Zane (and his new family) as he becomes creative lead at AVBrowne. He wins the World Cup in Brazil - for official sponsor, Moy Park - with an integrated campaign that made them 'the most positively received brand throughout the tournament,' according to research commissioned by The Drum.
2015-2018 | Zane settles in the beautiful Roman city of Bath as Creative Director of AgencyUK. In his first year, he transforms the creative product, securing a fifth D&AD pencil - for Hornby - and shelves full of Cream and Drum awards, including a Chairman's Award, a Grand Prix and the UK's 'Creative Team of the Year' for his department.
2018... | A move to McCann Bristol gets off to a nice start with a campaign of 'Reversible Poems' for Refuge - the domestic abuse charity - that secures Zane a sixth D&AD Pencil, a Silver Pencil at The One Show and nine Creative Circle Awards (3 Golds, 4 Silvers, 2 Bronze). Not bad for a bloke who was once destined to be a female goat herder.